Hurry up & wait
2/22/22
The very first time I had ever been on a commercial airline was in 2015, going to Spain. Since I had never been inside an airport, the experience was completely new. I had asked another person traveling with me what airports were like. Straight-faced, he said “hurry up and wait” — hurrying off the plane, running to the next gate, and then waiting for the connecting gate to open up, before rushing back onto the plane for take-off, only to wait some more on the aircraft to do it all over again.
Since then, I have flown thousands of miles and that phrase has stuck with me. This phrase has actually set my behavior patterns whenever I fly! I will rush to the airport, find my gate, realize that I still have two-ish hours to take off, then wander to Chic-fil-a and explore other treasures of the concourses. Angelic choirs sing once my teeth sink into that #2 Spicy Deluxe I haven’t eaten in over a year.
Once the adventure of exploring has worn off, I find myself at my gate again watching the flights take off and land. I sit and I think about that phrase.
Why did I arrive so early? I have nothing left to do now. I start to get anxious as I feel the juxtaposition of hurry up and wait.
It’s at this point I will start to talk with God about the upcoming trip. How will it challenge me? How will it change me? I become an inquisitive child as I talk to my Father.
Once on board the flight, I hear the whispers of the Holy Spirit, answering the heart of my endless questions. Be ready. Be willing. Be listening. Be who I created you to be. I will be with you. On the plane, I have nothing better to do than to listen while I watch the landscape change below me.
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I find myself in a similar season of my life right now. A year ago, I was sitting at a gate watching, waiting, and wondering. I was anxiously and aggressively asking the Lord “WHY!?” as I sought out a plane to return to Spain. Instead, the Lord asked me to wait and take steps closer to Him. In the waiting, I have done everything the Lord has asked me in this season — dig into my past with a counselor, grow deeper with Jesus, get credentialed, volunteer more, resign from my secular job, explore full-time ministry opportunities, continue/develop the relationship with my sending agency, take often and regular time for rest.
And now? I have finally boarded the metaphorical plane to an unknown place.
Now, I don’t say all of this to sound like my walk with Jesus is a massive checklist. In fact, it’s quite the opposite; these things are excursions along the main journey. Many of these things are still in process in my heart, but the difference now is that there is such depth to my walk with Jesus. I am content in the watching, the waiting, and the wondering. At the time of writing this entry, I feel so much closure in my 8 years in Williston. I have no idea of what my life will be like in 3 months. The only thing I know is that I am moving away from Williston in May/June.
Where? Unknown.
To do what? Unknown.
Why? The Lord has asked me to trust Him.
I am living in the tension of what my life has been and what my life will be. I don’t know what this next season will be like but I do know that the Lord is moving me from one place to the next. I feel deep in my spirit that this next season will be the one that propels me into the plans God has for my life.
I’ve “hurried up.”
Now I wait. God, it’s all You now.
